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Brad Fitzpatrick

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Random Poll [Mar. 12th, 2008|09:50 pm]
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Possibly-inebriated people at dinner just requested I post a poll:

Which is better?

Sliced Bread
137(31.3%)
AIDS vaccine
301(68.7%)

(Seriously, don't even ask me how they got there.)

Update: The drunk people are not happy with the current 5-13 results in favor of an AIDS vaccine and would like to remind you that:
  • sliced bread includes toast
  • bagels were inspired from sliced bread (and are, in fact, bread that is sliced)
  • and that you may change your vote
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Comments:
From: evan
2008-03-13 04:55 am (UTC)

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Argh, I forgot about dinner!
[User Picture]From: daveman692
2008-03-13 04:57 am (UTC)

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LMAO
[User Picture]From: lisa
2008-03-13 06:27 am (UTC)

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me too!
[User Picture]From: dnab
2008-03-13 04:57 am (UTC)

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Not planning on sleeping with any AIDS victims so I'll go with more convenient toast.
[User Picture]From: forgers
2008-03-13 04:57 am (UTC)

watch out --

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The Abuse Team is monitoring YOU!)
[User Picture]From: ticktockman
2008-03-13 04:58 am (UTC)

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I'm going with sliced bread because, when you open a bag of slice bread by god there are bread slices in it. So given the choice between actual bread and a pie-in-the-sky product, I'll take the one that exists.

Besides, I'd only buy an AIDS vaccine once. I buy bread several times weekly.

*daha*
[User Picture]From: vadda
2008-03-13 04:59 am (UTC)

Obligatory slashdot reference

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Missing option "CowboyNeal's pants".
From: nanassi
2008-03-13 10:38 am (UTC)

Re: Obligatory slashdot reference

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I'd vote you up, but I don't have any mod points at the moment.
[User Picture]From: poisonstream
2008-03-13 05:05 am (UTC)

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i actually really enjoy slicing bread myself
[User Picture]From: brad
2008-03-13 05:10 am (UTC)

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We're not talking about pre-sliced from-the-store sliced bread. We're talking about the mere concept of sliced bread. You can't slice it yourself because you've never heard of it and the concept is too radical to even imagine.

It's like if the wheel hadn't been invented yet!
[User Picture]From: poisonstream
2008-03-13 05:12 am (UTC)

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breaking off delicious chunks and dunking it into olive oil and salt is so good though. i still think an AIDS vaccine is better, really.
[User Picture]From: matthew
2008-03-13 05:42 am (UTC)

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I'm all for chunks of bread.
[User Picture]From: danaid_luv
2008-03-13 06:27 am (UTC)

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Hmm. I dunno. I'd like to think that soon enough I'd get tired of carting two loaves of french bread w/ me & would tumble across the genius idea of slicing & dicing. But I'm all thoughty like that.
[User Picture]From: asqmh
2008-03-13 05:19 am (UTC)

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If I had AIDS or the beginnings of such, then sure, the vaccine. But if I have the munchies on a Sunday morning, I'm not tossing back a vial of that stuff. Bring on the separated yeasty goodness.

As Heywood Banks so eloquently said, "YEAH TOAST!"
[User Picture]From: invisibelle
2008-03-13 05:29 am (UTC)

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Enjoyed tonight's South Park episode, I assume? Or just a wacky coincidence...
[User Picture]From: brad
2008-03-13 05:43 am (UTC)

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Coincidence, I guess. Don't have TV.
[User Picture]From: lisa
2008-03-13 05:41 am (UTC)

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in our generation, an AIDS vaccine means having sex without a condom is less likely to KILL you.

sliced bread, whatever.
[User Picture]From: robflynn
2008-03-13 05:45 am (UTC)

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If you have sex with sliced bread, you probably won't die! It's just as fun as the real thing.... *shifts eyes around the room*
[User Picture]From: brad
2008-03-13 05:45 am (UTC)

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You don't get a vote because you skipped Wednesday night dinner.
[User Picture]From: lisa
2008-03-13 06:26 am (UTC)

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Man, I totally forgot dinner. What the hell? That explains the vague nagging feeling that I was forgetting a prior engagement.
[User Picture]From: valiskeogh
2008-03-13 05:43 am (UTC)

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sliced bread saves many millions of lives each year due to people not accidentaly cutting themselves (like they used to do on bagels) and getting infections and dying.

bread, hands down.
[User Picture]From: separated
2008-03-13 05:45 am (UTC)

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ugh carbs whatever sliced bread contributes to all kindsa obesity issues that i have to face on a daily basis i mean i live in oklahoma this is one of the fattest states in the nation thanks but no thanks i'll stick to my carrots and protein water
[User Picture]From: separated
2008-03-13 05:46 am (UTC)

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ahhaa, i didn't mean to reply to you, but i'm dumb.
[User Picture]From: valiskeogh
2008-03-13 05:50 am (UTC)

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hehehehehehe ;)

have your carrots, MORE BREAD SLICES FOR ME!
[User Picture]From: n3m3sis42
2008-03-13 10:55 am (UTC)

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Seriously, I nicked myself ON THE WRIST while slicing a bagel one time, and it bled so much that I thought I was going to have to go to the ER. Sliced bread FTW. :D
[User Picture]From: robflynn
2008-03-13 05:44 am (UTC)

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What about bread that is sliced (gasp! Concept!!) and also possesses the AIDS vaccine! Perhaps from... sesame.

[User Picture]From: wcu
2008-03-13 06:26 am (UTC)

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JEWS DID SLICED BREAD
[User Picture]From: solagirl
2008-03-13 06:35 am (UTC)

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How about an AIDS vaccine you can spread on sliced bread? That way, we all win.
[User Picture]From: avatraxiom
2008-03-13 06:40 am (UTC)

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WOW! You are a PHARMACEUTICAL GENIUS! You have resolved the essential problem here more brilliantly than I had ever imagined. :-) I can just see the first billion rolling in...

-Max
[User Picture]From: solagirl
2008-03-19 03:28 am (UTC)

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Hey, no prob. We can make it a tasty pandemic solution.
[User Picture]From: krow
2008-03-13 06:53 am (UTC)

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Aids vaccine means less sliced bread.

Fuck?$?$?
[User Picture]From: thewalkingman
2008-03-13 07:18 am (UTC)

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No sliced bread = no grilled cheese sandwiches or hamburgers.

No grilled cheese sandwiches or hamburgers = might as well have the AIDS and die.
[User Picture]From: iamo
2008-03-13 08:02 am (UTC)

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I'd trade Free (as in Speech, not necessarily as in Beer) Love for having to rip chunks of bread apart instead of using a knife. Hell, I usually use a fork to break buns anyways.
[User Picture]From: iamo
2008-03-13 08:03 am (UTC)

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Now I'm worried RMS will sue me, so let's call it Open Love instead.
[User Picture]From: hdofu
2008-03-13 09:16 am (UTC)

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Well I like bread... you use it to make toast
From: tom
2008-03-13 09:25 am (UTC)

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I could do without it(concept of sliced bread), as much as I'd like to let millions of people die without the aids vaccine, however, with a vaccine, comes a price, a very big one, multiply it by millions, and include the over population(more people living) and work on other projects to change the world with the billions of dollars earned.

Then again, would life be the way it is now at all, I mean, maybe in some form of way, sliced bread in itself caused people to get aids with how it was born? Haha, fucking paradox.
From: tom
2008-03-13 09:28 am (UTC)

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THAT IS, if I had that vaccine, wasn't specified...otherwise, no, I don't care about the vaccine, and no, not even if I had aids, fuck it, enjoy toast and a sandwich, english muffins.
[User Picture]From: skx
2008-03-13 09:57 am (UTC)

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Just wait until they reveal that the next big thing in AIDS research is bread-based. Perhaps a fungus growing right now on a scientician's loaf of bread will be the key!
[User Picture]From: rahaeli
2008-03-13 01:10 pm (UTC)

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My usual test is "can I read my email on it?" Since neither sliced bread nor an AIDS vaccine has yet proven compliant with jwz's law of software envelopment, my vote has to go to the one that saves more lives.

...then again, bread originally led to penicillin, which ...

Oh, this is too hard. I'll come back in again.
[User Picture]From: ferrell
2008-03-13 01:49 pm (UTC)

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Yes, but the fact that it was sliced didnt affect the penicillin. If we were talking JUST bread, I might have to change my vote. ;)
[User Picture]From: daveman692
2008-03-13 04:55 pm (UTC)

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How do you know? A slice of bread molds much faster than a loaf!

Edited at 2008-03-13 04:55 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]From: dossy
2008-03-13 03:35 pm (UTC)

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AIDS vaccine would mean more people alive to make sliced bread.

Just a means to an end, baby. Means to an end.