?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Iowa, report #2 - brad's life — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Brad Fitzpatrick

[ website | bradfitz.com ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Iowa, report #2 [Jul. 6th, 2000|08:51 pm]
Brad Fitzpatrick
[Tags|, ]

Still in Iowa, now at my mom's parent's house. They don't have a computer or any form of Internet access (hell, my Palm VII and cell phone don't even work ... too rural) but my dad's laptop works great. I just have to use it at night when they aren't expecting phone calls.

I'm in the middle of the basement now, between the table, where one of the two phone jacks exist, and the side wall, where there is a polarized power outlet (everywhere else in the house is two-prong). The basement is dry (read: not humid) and cool (read: not hot as hell). There are three bedrooms upstairs, one of which I had to myself, but I've decided to take up this room as my sleeping quarters... so much more comfortable.

Man, driving my grandpa's red '69 convertible was a blast today .... I'm sunburnt from having the top down all day, and my ass is probably burnt from sitting on the hot black leather after leaving it parked outside a few times, but it was worth it... people were looking at it everywhere I went. I got trapped in a few blocks by a funeral procession and while I waited for it to pass by, every person turned and looked. The car is absolutely beautiful. I went to my cousin Jessica's softball game and took the car there. The parking lot is gravel (of course, right? :)) and there were no lines so I just parked it a ways off by itself. I mean, I knew that if I were to get as much as a fingerprint on the car, my grandpa would kill me ... actually, I did wipe my fingerprints off later from when I opened the trunk. Anyway, I came back later when the parking lot was full and the line of cars were packed together, except near the convertible, where both the cars on the left and right side were a half-car or so away from it. They probably knew too that if they or their kids were to open a door into it, they'd catch hell too. :)

Did you notice the phrase "catch hell" in there? Yeah, I'm working on my Iowa-speak. I'm not using it in full force yet, but I'm making notes on my Palm Pilot whenever I hear a new Iowa-ism that's new. I have a list of 20 or so that I've now classified in different categories. They consist of verb changes (usually past tense to present), sentence prefixes, sentence postfixes, and even entire transformations (shorted directed declarative senteces to interrogative).

Example time. Take for instance these few made-up sentences:
So I said to him, "you're not planning on going out with those dirty hands, are you?" And he said, "You're right. I should wash them first. You're so sanitary."
Now, applying several rules to convert this to Iowa speak:
And so I says to 'em, "you's not planning on going out with them dirty hands, are ya?" And he says, "Shit, you're right. I should warsh 'em first. You're a sanitary one, aren'tchya?"
That example is actually quite poor. Looking back, I realize about a dozen rules I didn't even use. When I get back to Oregon one of the first things I'm going to do is sit down and write a dialectizer for Iowa-speak. With Perl's HTML::TokeParser it should be a breeze ... that's how I remove JavaScript from people's LiveJournals and it works really well. (or, in Iowa-speak: "really good")

Oh, and Steve --- I know you're probably reading this, being the only one with Internet access, so don't go telling all the relatives just yet... it'll spoil my research, having the subjects knowing that they're being observed. :-)

My relatives, parents, and brother Ryan all went to the Indian reservation to go gambling. Ryan wants to go lose $100; he thinks he's Matt Damon in Rounders. Cole and I are probably going to go watch Cinemax now, what my grandpa told me was "channel 22, the horny channel". Heh.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: blythe
2000-07-06 09:30 pm (UTC)

hehe...

Warsh. That's funny. So true, though. It was freaking halarious to hear your grandmother say "warsh." Please don't get in the habit of talking in Iowa speak.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bradfitz
2000-07-07 12:34 am (UTC)

Re: hehe...

Just for you I will .... I hearby declare that it is my goal to master Iowa-speak. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: blythe
2000-07-07 09:09 am (UTC)

Re: hehe...

Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: muerte
2000-07-06 10:05 pm (UTC)

Horny Channel

Damn, I gotta get me dat dere horny channel.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bethany
2000-07-06 10:11 pm (UTC)

cars *drool*

I like old cars =) They're the greatest! Oh yeah...the whole house thing fell through...was going to live with a friend from highschool that a Junior, but the lease was due the next day and I couldn't get ahold of the people in the house, so I got bumped...Oh well...back to campus for me. Hopefully I'll get a single.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2000-07-07 09:47 am (UTC)

Damn Bitch

Didn't I make it clear to you that when my son is reading posts from his new woman, he doesn't want to see your sorry mug shot at the same time?

And like we feel sorry for you having to "live alone"...

NOW YOU KNOW HOW MY SON FELT WHEN YOU DUMPED HIS ATTRACTIVE ASS!

Sandy
(mom)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bradfitz
2000-07-07 12:33 pm (UTC)

Re: Damn Bitch

Moron.

:-P
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2000-07-11 12:14 am (UTC)

Re: Damn Bitch

lol!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: faith
2000-07-06 11:12 pm (UTC)
Beautiful car, Brad.

The modern world misses you.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: garrettpalm
2000-07-07 12:21 am (UTC)

Colloquiallisms

Hey, put all this research to good use.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bradfitz
2000-07-07 12:38 am (UTC)

Re: Colloquiallisms

Wow! That project kicks ass!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: garrettpalm
2000-07-07 12:45 am (UTC)

Re: Colloquiallisms

It's amazing what you find in National Geographic.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mcoletti
2000-07-08 11:38 am (UTC)

Re: Colloquiallisms

You might also consider whipping up a "jive" like text filter. You could probably write one using lex in 30 minutes. I've been thinking of doing one for Glaswegian "patter" for a while; alas, that project has been sitting on the Turbo Deluxe Backburner for a while now. Och, frae ah fue muir minats tyme!

Ahem.

Apropos of nothing: since I'm replying to a comment posted by another user, who gets e-mail notification? Presuming that you and the original commentator both have e-mail notification turned on, do you, the commentor, or both get e-mail? Or neither?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: bradfitz
2000-07-08 11:59 am (UTC)

Re: Colloquiallisms

Both, if we both have it on.

It only goes one level up a thread (to the person you're immediately replying to), and also to the journal owner, unless they're the same person.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: olliejeff
2000-07-07 12:28 am (UTC)

One question.....

What is it there? Pop or soda?
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: petit_chou
2000-07-07 02:52 am (UTC)

Re: One question.....

Or is it "sody-pop?"
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: ex_erika
2000-07-07 11:43 am (UTC)

Re: One question.....

It's Pop, and it's kept in the fridge. if you go one state south to Missouri it's soda and it's kept in the Icebox.

I don't know why i just wrote that..oh well

-erika
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: erik
2000-07-09 12:21 am (UTC)

Re: One question.....

You know, if you go down to Lousiana, they say "Would you like a coke?". It's pretty bizarre, because we're used to "pop", so you think "oh, they must just have coke".. and if you don't like coke then you politely decline. Then they ask you if you want a sprite or something else, and you're like "why did they ask me if I wanted a coke if they have more than one type of carbonated beverage?!"... but it's just that they use "coke" to encapsulate all carbonated beverages.

For this reason, I do not visit Lousiana. Too confusing.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)