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Brad Fitzpatrick

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Quickies [Sep. 12th, 2000|09:41 pm]
Brad Fitzpatrick
from the no-i'm-not-copying-slashdot department
Bunch of interesting things to report: They've been filming a moving on campus the last few days. Wonder what it is. Frat boys waterballooned my car last night driving home. Today somebody cut down all four of the rose bushes in our front yard. They were there this morning. This afternoon they were on their side, cut at the base. Do I have an enemy? Blythe got her studio apartment. She's happy. My mom called me with news that she heard a guy was raped by three other guys downtown this weekend. Nine people have been assaulted in the Belletown area in the past week or so. What's going on?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: nolegs
2000-09-12 09:42 pm (UTC)
You needs to be gettin revenge with a quickness. If you want some ideas I can give you some good ones.
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[User Picture]From: bradfitz
2000-09-12 09:43 pm (UTC)

Re:

I'd love some creative ideas.

Spray painting and/or burning down their house seemed a little too unoriginal.
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[User Picture]From: nolegs
2000-09-12 10:49 pm (UTC)

Re:

First let us understand what must be done in this situation.
When things like this happen you must do 2 things, get your revenge and set up measures to ensure no retaliation will take place.First let us understand what must be done in this situation.
When things like this happen you must do 2 things, get your revenge and set up measures to ensure no retaliation will take place.
The retaliation measures can be taken care of in your revenge. Usually this is done by doing something so wild that only a fool would dare stand up to you.
Example: you stand on top of the person's car screaming for them to come out, when they do you pull down your pants and get to crapping.
I would not mess with a person who did that to me, would you?
I don't suggest that method as it leads to police and or fatal beatings.
You are going to have to craft something to work with the attack they made on you.
Balloons are a simple act of simple minds.
Let us break this down.
When I think of simple minds I think of chimps, when I think of balloons I think of clowns.
When I think of chimps dressed up of clowns I get a mental image of carnie folk.
When I think of carnie folk I think of cabbage.
When I think of cabbage I think of some type of slaw.
Boom: 2 gallons of Cole slaw mixed with a can of white house paint dumped in/on a car.
Rose bush problems? Well duct tape those suckers back up and construct some stick men that look like they came straight out of a certain project. Put those happy little stick men in your yard and you now have protection from severely stupid people. Now you have to give the non-retard people something to fear. I suggest getting some empty shotgun shells and spreading them in your yard with a sign that says "Trespassers WILL be shot on sight."
The retaliation measures can be taken care of in your revenge. Usually this is done by doing something so wild that only a fool would dare stand up to you.
Example: you stand on top of the person's car screaming for them to come out, when they do you pull down your pants and get to crappin.
I would not mess with a person who did that to me, would you?
I don't suggest that method as it leads to police and or fatal beatings.
You are going to have to craft something to work with the attack they made on you.
Balloons are a simple act of simple minds.
Let us break this down.
When I think of simple minds I think of chimps, when I think of balloons I think of clowns.
When I think of chimps dressed up of clowns I get a mental image of carnie folk.
When I think of carnie folk I think of cabbage.
When I think of cabbage I think of some type of slaw.
Boom: 2 gallons of cole slaw mixed with a can of white house paint dumped in/on a car.
Rose bush problems? Well duct tape those suckers back up and construct some stick men that look like they came straight out of a certain project. Put those happy little stick men in your yard and you now have protection from severely stupid people. Now you have to give the non-retard people something to fear. I suggest getting some empty shotgun shells and spreading them in your yard with a sign that says "Tresspassers WILL be shot on sight."
Now get yourself some good gloves and a nice little bit of fiberglass. Rub this fiberglass all over those bushes and any other bushes or small trees in your yard.
In case anybody comes knocking on your door about the evil figures or shotgun shells you are going to have to get yourself a big ass sword. Just wave that sword at these nosey people/police while screaming passages from the bible and nobody will ever fuck with you again.
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From: itchi
2000-09-13 01:11 am (UTC)

Re:

I hear you can get swords real cheap at amazon.
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[User Picture]From: detritus
2000-09-13 07:13 am (UTC)

Re:

Throw crap at them like you're a monkey. That *should* do it.
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From: ex_iloveholl205
2000-09-13 02:02 am (UTC)

Re:

Yeah, I guess spray painting has been done a few too many times. But you've got to admit.. it is funny:
fuck u house
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[User Picture]From: gorgonous
2000-09-12 10:05 pm (UTC)
That rape thing was on the news tonight. The most recent attack was was on a guy from here in Portland.
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[User Picture]From: yizhe
2000-09-12 10:22 pm (UTC)

Rape

Guys getting rape? This is new... you all better be careful ;-)
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[User Picture]From: bradfitzstalker
2000-09-12 10:54 pm (UTC)
only im allowed to mess with your car or bushes.
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