||[Feb. 21st, 2001|01:27 am]
Finished the movie. Got grumpy ..... not sure why. Sick of dealing with crap.
I just read Evan's latest entry. There's two sentences I'd like to steal and use for myself.... if I could write well and express myself clearly instead of just saying "blah" all the time, I'd say something like this:
School worries me. Actually, what worries me more is my inability to invest time in anything that doesn't completely interest me
That's so applicable for me. I'm doing poorly at school this quarter because I just don't care... it's boring, and I can't get myself to spend any time at it. The thing is, though, nothing really interests me lately.
I'm going to bed.
2001-02-21 01:32 am (UTC)
You just totally summed up how *I've* been feeling lately. Well, I'm not doing that badly in school, but I'm totally disinterested in that, and pretty much everything else I've been doing lately. I have to kick myself in the ass repeatedly before I'll get anything done.
Here's to hoping both our situations improve.
not sure why the lack of desire to work on things is there, but i know how it is. just look at my grades for the past two quarters were.
i often sit bored in my room not wanting to work on anything. i don't handle it very well, either.
sometimes i just feel like i'm wasting my life away, but what am i suppose to be doing with it?
Looks like you've all started to grasp tae kwan ferrell. The art of not giving a shit. Been there. Done that. Still doing that. GPA's shit because of that. I just honestly can not motivate myself to do what I need to do to get the grades I need. Mainly because I dont give a flying fuck about anything I'm learning in any of my classes.
2001-02-21 07:49 am (UTC)
Come on now
Dude...come on now. If you're not doing well this quarter it's probably just because of the heavy course load you're taking :-)
You need to graduate bortha, get da fuck outta here. You've already got more going for you than %95 of the CS majors will have after 5 years. Have more going for you than some of them ever will.
I'd reccomend finishing up as soon as you can, dedicate your time to things that matter to you.
2001-02-21 02:03 pm (UTC)
Re: Come on now
lol... did you type this on your phone??
*new project time*
2001-02-21 02:31 pm (UTC)
is this anything like senioritus in High School?
2001-02-21 03:08 pm (UTC)
heh, perhaps. :-)
I don't blame you. LiveJournal has felt a lot like work lately, hasn't it? I'm sure it has for you. Lots of things just don't work right, as you've said, and it's not your fault. What makes matters worse is that you don't have the emotional energy to deal with everything that you have to deal with... I don't think you'd feel half as bad about the LJ stuff as you do if you were able to do it full time, set your own hours, and basically get paid so that you could live a semi-comfortable life.
I think that there has always been a certain degree of crap inherent in running LiveJournal... unfortunately, the more we scale the site, the more we scale the crap, and entirely too much of the crap is stuff you have to deal with.
I deal with my share of it, but I haven't been able to free as much of your time up as I originally hoped, and have, in some cases, taken up a great deal of your time on various projects, albeit for good reasons. I think you're right... we need to have someone helping out bigtime on the server issues.
I was checking old posts recently... in a couple days, it will have been three months since I became the "All things business" manager. Damn. Seems like forever and a day, doesn't it? The funny thing is, I haven't seen you so down since just before I took over doing business. Sounds to me like all the server and buggy software crap combined with your schoolwork has escalated to the point that you don't give a crap about much of anything. It's like being put into a cage and poked at by sharp sticks... after awhile, it's easier just to shut down and not respond to the the constant prodding.
Maybe the solution is just to get a bit more selfish and let people know what you need. Tell people straight out "This stuff sucks, I'm not interested in it, it's a pain in the ass, and I won't do it. Someone has to do it if the site is going to run, however. Either I need someone to help with this or I need more donations so that I can hire someone to do it. Any volunteers?" That's kinda how you got my help, after all. ;)
Yeah, I'm thinking that's the solution, too.
This is my worst quarter since I started college. I have zero motivation to study and i'm screwin all my shit up............but yet I don't really care. uhhhhhhhhh alwell.
2001-02-21 05:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Know how that is
I am a junior in high school, and you have no idea how much this applies to me. Maybe if I were studying pre-calc and not reading LiveJournal right now, I wouldn't get a comment like "Student is in danger of failing" on my report card.
I am disinterested (I'd rather work with computers), I stay up late at night (doing computer stuff), I am tired (so no homework gets done), etc.
heehee I think this was supposed to go to brad but for some reason it came to me:) just thought you might want to know.
2001-02-26 08:37 pm (UTC)
Re: Know how that is
Ooops, I guess I replied. That's ok, it still wound up as a comment on his journal ;)