Kinda in an odd mood lately. Lots of stuff isn't how I want it to be, but I'm not even sure what I want half the time. Explaining further would involve going into details and trying to figure it all out myself, and I can't.
I suppose one thing I can talk about easily is work... working at home sucks. Wake up, move 5 feet, work alone all day, move 5 feet, go to bed. Repeat. When I do have people over to work it turns into an unproductive social gathering. I need to rent some office space. But only 3 people in the Seattle area would ever "come into work". I'm so much more productive when I'm working with other people, challenging them and them challenging me. Working in my bedroom is lame. And working on IRC is like working in my bedroom... too much chat, too little work... not to mention too much typing.
6 months of school. Blah. Then what? Then where? But really this concerns me very little. It's only added to show there is more than one thing bothering me... I just can't discuss everything else? I don't know... maybe I could, but I'd have to get the wording right, and I suck at that.
I need to stop seeing the bad in everything and enjoy something. It's hard when you're surrounded in crap all the time, though. I start guitar lessons next Monday... that'll be fun. I wish I had more people to share my crap with. Small doses of crap are manageable and sometimes even fun, if interleaved with fun stuff. Doing nothing but crap is depressing.
Even writing all this, I still feel no sense of closure ... I was hoping I'd figure something out.