That really, really sucks. :( I have always wondered about my past relationships as far as problems, as in, were they always there, or did he/I change, thus creating new problems. I suspect that it's often a little of both.
You're a lucky man though, to be able to look back on it and remember the happiness. I always, *always* feel bad, because I when I look back on my old relationships, the first thing I always remember is what a dickwad he was near the end/post-breakup, or what I jerk I probably was around that time. And that sucks, because there *were* good times, and a lot of them. No healthy person sticks with a relationship for a long time when there aren't any good times. *Remember the good stuff!* It's important, whether you're missing it, or just being glad that you had it.
Don't worry about the whining vs. happy posts either. Nobody's happy 100% of the time, and I don't think anyone expects your journal to be All Happy All The Time, even if yer "Mr. LJ" or whatever.
And feel better! (when you're ready)
I guess there's always the hope that one day, you'll meet someone with whom the happiness never dwindles, or never becomes overshadowed by the "incompatibilities". You have to wonder if in a few years to come, you'll be a different person and those little things that bugged you or didn't work, wouldn't even matter anymore. You have to wonder if when people are older and find their "true love" and settle down, are they just settling? Or are they wise enough, have they learned that the incompatibilities weren't that at all, but merely a chance to adapt and learn about the human spirit.
[what the hell did I just say? *sigh* Anyway, just letting you know I read it and cared, or something. Time for bed, yes.]
I think back on my old relationship that has now been over for 2 years, and latest over 2 years.
I think about all the good things, but during the end all I could thing about is all the bad things. So now, I think "Maybe I made a mistake by letting her go." Then again, why were things so bad at the time that we had to leave each other. What a battle. It really hurts your head.
I think all relationships turn out this way. Even Marriage. I know of two of my friends who married who actually get along better now than they did before, but I also know of some infidelity there, so don't ask me how that happened. Every other relationship I've seen, including my own marriage, the 'suck factor' increases over time. Its depressing shit, but its true.
Suck factor. . . Humm. I've been married for only a year af a few months. What nice things to look forward to? :P
2001-09-23 05:55 pm (UTC)
I've been married 3 and a half, but we were together so very long before that, so I figure that counts into the equation.
You get tired of each other, but you still love each other, so you end up in this "I'm tired of you, but if we parted ways I'd miss you so much I'd go back" scenario....
2001-09-23 07:11 am (UTC)
I am considering watching "The Deep End." How was it? Did you enjoy it?
If you're female or gay you'd like it. It wasn't that bad, but it just wasn't the best choice for three guys to see together.
2001-09-23 10:04 am (UTC)
ok. you actually made me laugh enough to spit out what I was drinking.
Hmm. But, did you enjoy it? Have you seen anything better recently? I am just looking for a good movie to see tonight. Thank you for the laughter, though. (=
2001-09-23 10:39 am (UTC)
No, I didn't enjoy it. There was a gay love scene between a highschool boy and a guy in his thirties that was rather disturbing. I'm definitely not against gay people, but I just never chose to picture them actually fucking. It was too much. Not something I wanted to see. Ok, so besides the man on boy buttlove action, every scene felt a little long and drawn out. But that's how the girlies like it I think, so they have enough time to start feeling sorry for each character or something stupid like that. As for other movies, I have no idea. But I'm definitely going to see K-Pax on Friday. Kevin Spacey rules.
ugh. I concur.
I thought it sucked, and I'm even a woman! But then again.. I live for movies like.. like.. SPIDEY!!! SPIDEY SPIDEY SPIDEY!!!
Everyone gets lonely. But you will find someone someday, and it will go away. The loneliness now is worth it.
2001-09-23 11:14 am (UTC)
things like this are part of what's making me shy away from getting into any relationships.
...And as I sat there, brooding on the old unknown world, I thought of Gatsby's wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy's dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that is was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the public rolled on under the night.
...Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future thatyear by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter-tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther...And one fine morning...
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
-The Great Gatsby by F.Scott Fitzgerald
yes shoot me now...i just quoted out of a book for lack of good advice to give...somethings better than nothing...right?
I know you get tired of hearing this, but things do get easier. Once your regular schedule with university starts it'll be easier to stop thinking about it.. (I've been a university for almost 1/2 term now, and well, all the shit that happened in the summer seemed to disappear as soon as uni started because I didn't have time to care)..
Good luck.. if you need a helping hand with anything, give us a yell:)
You could be like me, and forget all the good memories (and wind up calling her a bitch after breaking up and telling her off)... I force myself to write down the good stuff now. Yay for private entries :)
Yeah relationships that end like that are never fun. *Hug*