Brad Fitzpatrick (brad) wrote,
Brad Fitzpatrick
brad

Evening

Went out with Chuck and Patrick to see "The Deep End" in Bellevue. After that we hit Dick's. Chuck rented "The Siege" and then we watched that.

Depressed/lonely/sad. What's new? I hate using my journal just to whine. I tell myself every day that I'll only post happy things, but that's misrepresentative.

I was considering writing a post mortem of Blythe and I, but that's just too depressing. The first day we seriously talked about breaking up she asked, "And will you be just totally fine tomorrow?" I said yes, but it'd hit me in the weeks following. And so it went. At least I know myself well enough to have predicted that behavior.

Thinking back on all my past relationships, I realize the problems and incompatibilities have always been there from the start. It's just that the good things and happiness overshadow them. But then the happiness fades and the incompatibilities remain constant, now occuping a larger percentage of the relationship. Then the breakup. And then in retrospect, you only remember the happiness, now that the problems are gone. That's always the case. I look back on past family vacations and can remember every fun detail, though I kinda remember lots of fighting between my brothers and I, but not enough to overshadow the happiness.

So now I'm off to bed, lonely and alone. But at least I'm not the only one. [1] [2], and many more I'm sure. Not that other people's unhappiness helps mine any, though.

Once school starts, I'll be busy and things will be better. (yes, keep telling yourself this...)
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