Brad Fitzpatrick (brad) wrote,
Brad Fitzpatrick
brad

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Bad Night

Went to zParty @ zHouse ... I had great expectations after reading the zHouse manifesto and their invitation announcements/emails. It sounded like a great group of people where everybody respects each other, regardless of their life style, etc, etc. I think a better interpretation of that would be, "we respect you if you're a goth like us". I was the only one in jeans. I was one of two people not wearing all black. Nearly everybody had tight black vinyl. Everybody glared at me for looking different. I said hi to a people but convseration didn't take off. I didn't know anybody there (yet to show up?) and getting to know people was going to be too difficult. I left.

I used to have friends like me, I think. (?) But lately I can't find anybody I can connect with on enough levels. Too geeky, too antisocial, too social, not deep enough, too deep. All too different.

I went for a walk, then grocery shopping. My Dr. Pepper exploded in the car, all over my jeans and my seat. Kenji has all his friends over playing poker upstairs ... From the driveway I could hear Marilyn Manson blaring. He turned it down when I came in, though. Came downstairs... bitchy emails, my Dr. Pepper exploded again, all over my computer chair.

Blah. This blows.

I want to cuddle and watch a movie, but I have nobody to do so with. I guess I'll put in earlplugs to block the poker noise from upstairs and keep working on my book. Or play guitar with headphones loud? Not in the mood.

*sigh*
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