2003-10-24 05:00 pm (UTC)
Paintball trips and supplies.
Office supplies (pens & papers)
Its surprising. I know someone who sells framed prints in such a manner, and enough people buy them for it to be lucrative.
2003-10-24 05:17 pm (UTC)
You should buy the paintball guns and use them against later solicitors!
2003-10-24 04:56 pm (UTC)
What kind of crap are these people trying to sell you?
2003-10-24 05:01 pm (UTC)
An amusing one that I saw:
We shoot every tenth solicitor and the ninth one just left.
Another idea is to launch into a Jehovah's Witness speech when they come in...
Have a little sign made that says "solicitors will be shot due to tresspassing on private property. And yes it is legal for us to do it"
## Days since last solicitor seriously injured:
Do your part to prevent workplace violence!
My vote is for "Your mom didn't get any money out of me either." That might be better used verbally though, you might offend actual visitors with a sign.
2003-10-24 06:31 pm (UTC)
Do you work in a building where you have to keep the door unlocked? One of my customers just keep their doors locked and an intercom by their front door. That's a good way to screen the solicitors.
Though, I like "we kidnap solicitors."
lock the door...install doorbell...setup wireless cam...
How about some biometric shit too? Maybe a big German dude with a machete? Some concertina wire? Attack monkeys with robot arms?
"Solicitors are trespassers.
Trespassers will be shot.
Survivors will be prosecuted."
No idea. Is the sign clearly visable? Try positioning it in such a way that there isn't any way to find the doorknob without reading the sign, such as having the sign haning over the doorknob. Then rig the door to dump water on anyone who enters, like in those cheesy movies.
These people probably focus on smaller offices because the big ones have receptionists to chase them off. Do you ever get legitimate walk-in traffic?
2003-10-24 10:26 pm (UTC)
Warn them first
Great idea, but put up a sign first: "Warning: Solicitors will be shot repeatedly with Super Soakers"
When a solicitor comes in, everyone can run screaming to the door and fire away. Could be a good way to blow off stress, and you may find yourself looking forward to solicitors.
Bonus points if you take pictures of the drenched victims and post them next to the sign as a warning.
solicitors the other white meat....
You look like Bill Nye the Science guy. ^___^
From a brit reading this I was initially confused..
You see Solicitors over here are lawyers! and I was thinking what the hell were lawyers doing bothering you *ahem*
it's too early to think of a witty slogan but I liked the one that funjon
("Solicitors are trespassers.
Trespassers will be shot.
Survivors will be prosecuted.")
Post a cover charge of $20.00. At least you'll get something out of the intrusion.
Hire a bouncer for the building entrance.
I'd love to come in to handle Reception/Phone's/Solicitor bouncing.
I work cheap, know linux/apache (though not a zealot) and would be willing to head out to portland at the drop of a hat.
...by which you mean, a receptionist. They'll turn them away.
But really, they shouldn't be coming in. Make a bigger sign?
Make a sign that says, "Absolutely No Soliciting."
How about "Attention Solicitors: We have no money!" ? :)
Hang one new sign.
Torment the next solicitor that comes by.