September 23rd, 2001



Went out with Chuck and Patrick to see "The Deep End" in Bellevue. After that we hit Dick's. Chuck rented "The Siege" and then we watched that.

Depressed/lonely/sad. What's new? I hate using my journal just to whine. I tell myself every day that I'll only post happy things, but that's misrepresentative.

I was considering writing a post mortem of Blythe and I, but that's just too depressing. The first day we seriously talked about breaking up she asked, "And will you be just totally fine tomorrow?" I said yes, but it'd hit me in the weeks following. And so it went. At least I know myself well enough to have predicted that behavior.

Thinking back on all my past relationships, I realize the problems and incompatibilities have always been there from the start. It's just that the good things and happiness overshadow them. But then the happiness fades and the incompatibilities remain constant, now occuping a larger percentage of the relationship. Then the breakup. And then in retrospect, you only remember the happiness, now that the problems are gone. That's always the case. I look back on past family vacations and can remember every fun detail, though I kinda remember lots of fighting between my brothers and I, but not enough to overshadow the happiness.

So now I'm off to bed, lonely and alone. But at least I'm not the only one. [1] [2], and many more I'm sure. Not that other people's unhappiness helps mine any, though.

Once school starts, I'll be busy and things will be better. (yes, keep telling yourself this...)


Woke up at 10:00 because Silas (Kenji's friend) has the loudest voice in the world. I've noticed that the hallway outside my room is a lot louder now that I've removed the dozen server boxes. They no longer absorb the sound and instead it all echos.

So I got up and found Chuck making breakfast so I used the stuff he had out and made myself some eggs.

My plans for the day are to finish laundry (started yesterday) and clean my inbox, which hit 100 messages this morning. 15-20 is my target.

Whoa --- pkill

I wrote a little script to search the command line arguments in the process table and send a signal to the matching ones.

I named it 'pkill'.

I went to use it on my local dev machine and it doesn't work.

$ which pkill

WTF? (was expecting /home/lj/bin/pkill)

$ man pkill

Whoa--- same purpose as my program, but does a ton more. "introduced in Sun's Solaris 7". Bad-ass.

Bizarre though that both I didn't know about this program and I wrote my own, and then named it the same thing!


Inbox down to 40 message. Which means I got about ~60 things done this morning.

Off to the park with Chuck now to play frisbee.


Chuck: "I wonder how long on average it takes a dog to get tired of fetching a stick."
Me: "We're playing Frisbee. That's just like fetching."
Chuck: "Oh yeah... hehe... Cool."

Spaghetti time.

Go Bezos!

"The Amazon CEO is saying, 'I'm not just a high-tech innovator, America--I eat tacos, too,'"

"The message is that the quesadilla is a cutting-edge product--not just a staple that Mexican restaurants and homes have been slapping together for generations.... "

"Despite the fact that Amazon and Taco Bell have no cross-promotional agreements and don't sell any of the same products, an Amazon spokesman said the ad extends the brand recognition of the largest online retailer."

Heheh ... what a fucking funny news story.