September 29th, 2001



too much alcohol
fun shit
more fun shit
.... (insert alcohol here)
fucked up shit
slept on hardwood floor, shivering
woke up, hungover.
somebody stole my sweater, jen's CDs, and jen's cellphone
helped clean up
walked to car
puked more
decided not to drive... woke blythe up
slept on her floor (carpet... warm)
puke more
sleep more
drove home
making piza

zParty at zHouse tonight ... if I go, no beer. I might just stay at home wrapped up in a blanket and read a book.


After my last post I cooked some pizza and watched The Fifth Element with Chuck and Kenji. Food was good ... hadn't ate in 15 hours.

Played guitar for quite awhile .. working on more Alice in Chains. Read my book too.

Off to zParty now... chuck, patrick, evan, others are there or on their way. I'm going to bring a bunch of Dr. Pepper. :-)

Bad Night

Went to zParty @ zHouse ... I had great expectations after reading the zHouse manifesto and their invitation announcements/emails. It sounded like a great group of people where everybody respects each other, regardless of their life style, etc, etc. I think a better interpretation of that would be, "we respect you if you're a goth like us". I was the only one in jeans. I was one of two people not wearing all black. Nearly everybody had tight black vinyl. Everybody glared at me for looking different. I said hi to a people but convseration didn't take off. I didn't know anybody there (yet to show up?) and getting to know people was going to be too difficult. I left.

I used to have friends like me, I think. (?) But lately I can't find anybody I can connect with on enough levels. Too geeky, too antisocial, too social, not deep enough, too deep. All too different.

I went for a walk, then grocery shopping. My Dr. Pepper exploded in the car, all over my jeans and my seat. Kenji has all his friends over playing poker upstairs ... From the driveway I could hear Marilyn Manson blaring. He turned it down when I came in, though. Came downstairs... bitchy emails, my Dr. Pepper exploded again, all over my computer chair.

Blah. This blows.

I want to cuddle and watch a movie, but I have nobody to do so with. I guess I'll put in earlplugs to block the poker noise from upstairs and keep working on my book. Or play guitar with headphones loud? Not in the mood.

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