June 17th, 2004

belize

Our bizdev group

Hah.... I get a few emails per week now from COOs and CCOs and VPs of Foo and etc etc, all wanting to talk to our "bizdev group" about "exciting possibilities" and "market opportunities" and "ways we can both profit a lot more".

One guy was like, "Because really, at the end of the day we're both after the same thing: money." I replied, "No, not us." He was just flabbergasted at that point, like that was beyond his comprehension. Don't get me wrong... money's good to keep thing's going, and critical in that respect, but it's not our company's goal.

And all those emails/calls are outside of the normal advertiser salespeople that see we're in some high Nielson-rating-type-thing and don't have ads, they shit themselves, thinking they just made a huge score that nobody else found and they're going to just lightly tell us we could be making [insert lower number here] dollars per day and we'd instantly convert. When in reality, I heard from somebody else the number's more like $10k/day, but I'm not sure I totally believe that.

A few of the dozens have interesting ideas, but it's taking all I've got sifting through their marking talk and bullshit.

In conclusion: *yawn*
belize

fake mysql server in perl

I just wrote a little Perl script that looks like a MySQL server. You connect to it, do the whole capability exchange (it has no modern capabilities like compression or SSL) and then it processes client packets... just QUIT or QUERY right now.

Oh, and it reports server version "1.2.3-yourmom" (for Whitaker).

Then in responds to queries:
bradfitz@bini:~$ mysql -hbrad -P3308
Welcome to the MySQL monitor.  Commands end with ; or \g.
Your MySQL connection id is 1337 to server version: 1.2.3-yourmom

Type 'help;' or '\h' for help. Type '\c' to clear the buffer.

mysql> select your_mom();
ERROR 1045: No access to my mom

Yup yup, workin' hard, workin' hard.

The real goal, of course, is twofold:

Goal 1) for our "global cluster" which is pretty small and all the data fits on a machine:

load balancing mysql proxy. track all machine's replication position and never direct selects to machines that aren't totally caught up. this way application thinks it's talking to a single machine, but really selects are load balanced without side-effects like out-of-date slaves. ideally then the proxies would communicate amongst themselves and elect a master, then the master would be able to do stuff like manage master election amongst the mysql machines, reparenting nodes against each other, copying their data around when a new node comes online, etc.

I think a dozen vendors do this, but what fun is that? Plus there should be some open source load-balancing mysql proxy out there.

Goal 2) for our user clusters which take a lot of disk space:

distributed database. that whole MogileFS + user per db thing, all users on 2 or 3 random machines, replication going crazy everywhere. the proxy would have to keep all their replication positions in sync.

Obviously goal 2 is a lot harder, so goal 1 is a good way to learn the MySQL protocol better and get something usable for most people (including ourselves) pretty quickly.